Eph 4:26
“And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.”
Have you ever been really, really, angry, where someone has provoked you? This is the type of anger this verse is referring to, but there is another type.
Eph 4:31
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behaviour
The two words for anger in these verses are slightly different. The first is about being provoked to anger, the second, which we are to get rid of, is about a character that is defined by anger. We are to get rid of anger because it can become something that defines us and defines our behaviour in the long term.
Freedom from anger does not mean that we supress it either. Supressed anger can also cause us all sorts of problems. Turned in on us it can lead to depression, expressed outwardly and violently, it appears as rage.
If we don’t deal with anger, we become controlled by it.
So, how do we live a life in freedom, a life that is not controlled by anger?
1. No excuses
Take responsibility for your own anger
Recognise that whilst anger is a natural emotion, it is an indicator that something is wrong.
How is my anger affecting my thoughts, my behaviour and my actions towards myself and towards others?
We must stop blaming others and stop excusing the anger. Instead we can ask ourselves: “What is going on for me here?” “Why am I feeling angry about this situation?”
Is this anger because something good has been violated?
Or: Am trying to protect my own pride, am I trying to get my own way; am I trying to control others, or a situation?
When we are brave enough to ask ourselves these questions and be honest about them, we can begin to resolve the issues.
2. Forgive, Forgive, Forgive
Seek forgiveness and extend forgiveness. When we have anger from unresolved issues, and we have identified those issues, then we can begin to move forward.
Matt 18:15 gives us the way. We must go with the right motive!
Firstly deal with our own stuff
Seek God’s forgiveness for our own behaviour. We need to deal with our own stuff and come before God. We need to get the plank out of our own eyes and to come in repentance for our own behaviour. Seek his forgiveness for holding onto anger and extend forgiveness towards others.
Mark 11:25
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.
This is tough. Forgiveness is not always easy, and reconciliation is not always possible.
BUT Forgiveness frees us!!!!!!!!!
Who do I still need to forgive?
3. Work on our thinking
Romans 12:2
Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect
Freedom from anger is about changed thinking that produces changed behaviour.
1 Peter 1:13
So think clearly and exercise self-control
This means stop replaying the angry thoughts, the hurt thoughts and the bitterness and the resentment we hold onto for real or imagined hurts. Turn the CD player of hurt and resentment in your thoughts off.
Replace the list of resentment and anger with Spirit controlled thinking. Thinking about all that is good and right and lovely.
Where does my thinking need to change?
So, no excuses, forgive freely and change the thinking patterns.